From the Journal of Branguen of Clan Anrias
Member of Generalissimo Ferd's Anthropology Group
During "The Study of The Wild Golf Cart

Day 1

As evening descends the noises of the forest grow louder. From under the comfort of the purple shade fly, Generalissimo Ferd spots a herd of wild golf carts congregating at the intersection of the road in front of the camp. I was happy to accompany the Generalissimo when he announced his decision to study the mating and migratory habits of the wild golf cart.

The Generalissimo quickly assembled his group of stalwart anthropologists and the study was underway. First, we had to devise a method of tagging and releasing the wild golf cart. Generalissimo Ferd came up with a device which consisted of wrapping duct tape around empty beer cans forming a string of them with a length of duct tape at the end. After constructing our tags we gathered at the edge of the road to wait.

When the first wild golf cart was spotted, several of us entered the road ahead and behind it. While the wild golf cart observed us in confusion, Generalissimo Ferd quietly and quickly slipped in behind the beast and applied the tag without the beast's notice. Once the tag was in place we retreated to the side of the road to let the beast pass. Most of the wild golf carts plodded on not noticing their new tag, but a few cast curious glances to their back ends as the beer cans bumped along the road. One bull did not care for the tag at all and paused to remove it from his rear.

Unfortunately the wild golf cart is an adaptive creature, and began to take the side road to elude our carefully laid trap. After a few unsuccessful attempts to tag and release more wild golf carts, the Generalissimo came up with the brilliant plan to place a trip rope across the side path, with a beer can attached to each end of the rope. The trap was assembled just in time, as a wild golf cart came trotting down the path. The beast spotted our first trap, and so swung onto the side path to evade it. As we watched the beast approach the second trap, we realized to our horror that the trap was not set. We cried out to the Generalissimo, and with a great leap and dive he pulled up the string. We cheered as the golf cart, now tagged, trotted down the side path with its beer cans clattering merrily along behind it.

Day 2, early morning

Most of the wild golf carts in our area have been tagged, but we have noticed other beasts using other paths around the forest. Generalissimo Ferd has decided to send us out on Safari, and Her Majesty, Queen Phaedra, will be joining us. First we construct new tags, assemble the team, then start out down the path looking for untagged wild golf carts. Our search is successful. An untagged beast trots down the path towards us, and we repeat the steps from our first trap, however, when we release the golf cart this time, we chase it off with shouts of "Outlands!".

Then to our great surprise, we find the secret breeding grounds of the wild golf cart. We cannot approach and tag the beasts which have gathered there, as there is a white temple with a guard posted at the door. Evidently the wild golf cart is a sacred animal to this obscure religion, so Generalissimo Ferd decides to trap the beasts who come down the paths near the breeding grounds. After a few successful and unsuccessful tag and releases, the beasts have all been tagged. We decide to return to the encampment, to see if the tags have remained on the beasts who were tagged earlier.

When we return to camp, we notice that some of the beasts have indeed managed to remove their tags. The Generalissimo decides to set up our traps again, but the beasts have become wary, and avoid the traps with ease. The Generalissimo once again comes up with a brilliant plan. He creates a blind by propping two scutums up against a chair, so as to hide his presence from the beasts. This plan works quite well, unfortunately a little too well, as we begin to inadvertently trap the local natives. This is quickly solved by warning the natives of the trap they are blundering into.

By the end of the study all of the wild golf carts have been successfully tagged and released. The following day I observed 3 out of 4 of the golf carts were still tagged, allowing us to generate more data as to their habits.

No golf carts were harmed in this study.